Bravolebrities never fail to deliver some of the best one-liners — and 2023 was no exception. Whether they’ve been delivered on the small screen or in realtime at this year’s BravoCon in Las Vegas, the Bravo burns have been nothing short of spectacular. While it’s nearly impossible to shout out every single quotable (and meme-worthy) moment from the network, we gathered together a list of some of our favorites.
So much has happened over the last year, from Scandoval on Vanderpump Rules to Tamra Judge and Vicki Gunvalson‘s return to The Real Housewives of Orange County, to an entirely new cast making their debut as the next generation of The Real Housewives of New York City. In all instances, the reality stars have understood their assignments — especially when it came to throwing shade (deserved or not) at their fellow castmates. Even Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Crystal Kung Minkoff, who often veers toward the soft-spoken end of the spectrum, made this year’s roundup!
Whether it was Jessel Taank roasting Sai De Silva‘s fashion, Teddi Mellencamp‘s cringeworthy confrontation with Gunvalson or the Southern Charm cast poking fun at Shep Rose‘s age (and love-making), nothing was left off the table when it came to this year’s slate of mic-drop moments. Keep reading for our Top 10 Bravo burns.
“Is That What Bothers You? That I Have a Black Amex and You Don’t?” -Nicole Martin, RHOM
Dr. Nicole Martin has no problem footing the bill. During The Real Housewives of Miami Season 5, the Anesthesiologist questioned Alexia Nepola‘s lawyer friend about defamation of character in light of the scandalous rumors Larsa Pippen repeated about her. However, Nepola quickly chimed in, resulting in a screaming match between her and Martin, who then offered to pay for the lawyer’s time by tossing her credit card onto his lap.
“I don’t know what we’re more mad at here. Are we mad that I offered to pay or is it the fact that I have a black Amex?” Martin asked in her confessional. “Is that what bothers you? That I have a black Amex and you don’t?”
“That’s What You Are. A Boogawolf.” -Jennifer Aydin, RHONJ
Jennifer Aydin calling Margaret Josephs a “boogawolf” might not have landed when it was first said on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but that doesn’t mean it will be forgotten. Like much of the audience, the rest of the ladies had never heard of the word, which was later described as meaning a “very ugly person” or “something or someone that is very nasty.” While uncalled for, it was still a moment from the group’s Ireland trip that will go down in Bravo diss history — even if it garnered mixed reviews.
“Fuck a Duck.” -Tamra Judge, RHOOC
Tamra Judge made her triumphant return to The Real Housewives of Orange County this year — and she was sure to bring the drama. In what was only the second episode of Season 17, an inebriated Judge went off about her troubles with Shannon Beador at Gina Kirschenheiter‘s Fla-Mingle boat party — which she couldn’t even attend because she came down with COVID. While venting about their beef to Emily Simpson and Heather Dubrow, the former gym owner demanded that Beador go “fuck a duck” — much to her co-stars’ confusion.
“That’s not even a saying that people say,” Dubrow told cameras in her confessional. “Ducks are cute, fuzzy creatures.”
“I Think Sai Maybe Doesn’t Like Me Because I Dress Better Than Her.” -Jessel Taank, RHONY
Jessel Taank quickly emerged as a fan-favorite of the revamped Real Housewives of New York City. If she wasn’t dragging Tribeca — which many were stunned to hear her refer to as “up-and-coming” — she was probably throwing low blows at co-star Sai De Silva, who frequently started arguments with her. Amid one feisty confrontation, Taank even had the chutzpah to question the influencer’s fashion taste.
“I really don’t know where this animosity is coming from,” Taank said in her confessional. “I think Sai maybe doesn’t like me because I dress better than her.”
“You Look Like a Couch.” -Katie Maloney, Vanderpump Rules
Speaking of fashion disses, Katie Maloney just about ended her ex-husband Tom Schwartz during the Vanderpump Rules panel at this year’s BravoCon. The reality star stated that she’d never get romantically involved with someone in their friend group — a clear swipe at the one post-divorce rule Schwartz failed to uphold when he kissed Rachel “Raquel” Leviss in Season 10. And unlike the bar owner, who recently went after his Winter House co-star Katie Flood, Maloney promised there would certainly be “no more Toms” in her future.
“Hi Katie. You look fabulous,” Schwartz cheekily told Maloney from across the stage, to which she fired back, “You look like a couch.”
Schwartzy might need some ice for that burn.
“You Were Probably Just Triggered By Somebody That Actually Has Cancer.” -Teddi Mellencamp, WWHL
Another jaw-dropping moment from this year’s BravoCon aired during the “Dynamic Duos” episode of BravoCon Live when host Andy Cohen attempted to reconcile Teddi Mellencamp and Vicki Gunvalson in a game of “Squash That Beef.” However, things took a cringey turn when Mellencamp — who was previously diagnosed with Melanoma — brought up Gunvalson’s ex-boyfriend Brooks Ayers’ cancer hoax.
“Here’s the thing, Vicki. I tried to give you a little bit of grace,” Mellencamp said. “I originally thought that maybe you had issues between me and Tamra being such close friends, then I realized that you were probably just triggered by somebody that actually has cancer.”
The ladies were unable to bury the hatchet, with Gunvalson telling Mellencamp, “You’re gross. I have no respect for somebody who would say that to me. How dare you,” before storming back to her seat.
“Neither of You Have Jobs.” -Paige DeSorbo, Summer House
Paige DeSorbo clocked the trouble in paradise between Lindsay Hubbard and Carl Radke back during the Summer House Season 7 reunion. When she wasn’t rolling her eyes from the other couch, DeSorbo was calling out the ex-couple for what she thought was a “pre-meditated” engagement. The reality star even accused them of lying and spinning “everything.”
“Isn’t this a lot of money to be spending for a lie?” Hubbard asked, to which DeSorbo hit back, “Yeah, that’s why I’m confused. Because neither of you have jobs.”
“Dorit … You Haven’t Seen a Real Body Part in 10 Years.” -Crystal Kung Minkoff, RHOBH
Dorit Kemsley was surprised to hear Crystal Kung Minkoff has “perfect nipples” — but she might’ve been even more shocked to hear what her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-star said about her in her confessional following her reaction to the NSFW admission.
“Dorit, how would you know what a perfect nipple looks like? You haven’t seen a real body part in 10 years,” Minkoff said.
Fortunately, there was no bad blood — at least, not when we talked to Minkoff ahead of the episode’s airdate. In fact, she told us that Kemsley is “all about the shade,” adding, “She encourages me to be more shady. Probably not at her expense. But I mean, she was looking at me funny. The question was the question and I’m like, ‘Well, if you’re gonna, respond like that. I’m gonna come right back.'”
“Dang, Shep is Old!” -Venita Aspen / “Don’t Expect to Finish.” -Taylor Ann Green, Southern Charm
Shep Rose might have the tendencies of a 20-something frat boy — but the Southern Charm star is actually well into his 40s. For his younger co-stars Venita Aspen and Olivia Flowers, his age was finally put into perspective after he said he was last in Jamaica “22 years ago” when he was in college.
“Dang, Shep is old. 22 years ago? I’m 29!” Aspen said under her breath, while Flowers jokingly added, “And Roosevelt was president and we just launched the Second World War!”
And because one Shep roast isn’t enough, here’s a second.
Taylor Ann Green, who previously dated the reality star, got her last laugh by exposing him for his selfish love-making. When asked what she’d warn the next girl who hooks up with Rose about, she savagely responded, “Don’t expect to finish.” While Rose didn’t find it as amusing as his castmates, he did own up to the accusation, proudly telling everyone, “As long as I get off, I don’t care. I’m not gonna go through a whole fucking production! I’m just not!”
“You’re a Worm With a Mustache!” -James Kennedy, Vanderpump Rules
James Kennedy delivered a burn so iconic that even Jon Hamm recited it on Watch What Happens Live. When the Vanderpump Rules cast came together for the first time since Scandoval broke for the Season 10 reunion, the British DJ tore into Tom Sandoval for cheating on Ariana Madix with Rachel “Raquel” Leviss, who also happened to be Kennedy’s ex-fiancé.
Kennedy hurled insults at the disgraced Bravolebrities, calling them both “poopoo heads” and telling Sandoval, “You’re a worm with a mustache!” The off-the-cuff comment ultimately became one of this year’s most meme-able Bravo moments, making Kennedy the official No. 1 guy in the group.